Simon and Schuster blew me off. I expected this from Simon. But Schuster? He's always been a pal, a friend, a decent person. That cut me deepest. Then again, it was expected. After all, I sent them an email in which my reasons for wanting to contact Mr. Berger included, "Because he will die soon." People get skittish around death, I hear.
Also, Samuel L. Jackson never got back to me. What is the world coming to? When did we start living in an age where you can't contact a celebrity in the hopes that he has contact information for someone else and expect an answer? It's a sick world. It's also always been the world, so I'll deal with it somehow.
"Hoho. Another tweet from a simpleton."
Rather than get discouraged, I decided to dig a little deeper in my search. On the Wikipedia page for Thomas Berger (which of course I can trust), there is a list of authors he has influenced. This list contains one name: Jonathan Lethem. I looked him up (apparently he wrote some books? Probably?) and found an article he wrote called "Fan Mail." Basically, he stole my idea.
Back in 1989 (the year after I was born, so my complaint is valid), Lethem wrote to Mr. Berger, who responded. Since then they have kept a correspondence.
Guys, this is probably how those letters were delivered
So I decided to send Mr. Lethem('s secretary) an email:
I hope that you will pass this along to Mr. Lethem. I have put it in my mind that I need to talk to Thomas Berger, at least talk at him. I have been trying to figure out how to contact him for a couple weeks, and after reading Mr. Lethem's article, "Fan Mail," I think I've found the best way to do so. I understand of course that Mr. Berger may be careful to guide his privacy (otherwise I'm sure contact would have been much simpler), so if it is his wish that I pursue this no further, I accept. But frankly the man is a hero of mine, a literary giant among men, and it would be a privilege to ask him a few questions or even send a simple "thank you" for his work.
Any help that can be offered would be great.
Jonathan Lethem, receiving my email from Lucy, and he's really excited
Now, we wait...
Wish me luck, fellow adventurers!