Moving on, Allie Brosh is incredible. If you haven't read Hyperbole and a Half, then you should seriously consider a lobotomy. Fair warning, there is some language (mostly English, but also some curse words). For the last several months she has disappeared like a pile of dead rats, here one day, gone the next.
Okay, so it's a bunch of these, but dead, also, gone. Just...poof, gone
Her last post was called "Adventures in Depression," so I began to get a sneaking suspicion (very sneaky) that she had falling into a deep bout of said depression and thus was recovering.
Sneaking Suspicion STRIKES!!!
So I did what any decent human being would do and sent her the following email:
Dear Allie (Allie Brosh, also, "Dear" is weird, but...whatever),
I am sure (so sure) that you have received hundreds of emails concerning your lack of posts in the past months. I get that you're burnt out on them (because apparently I know your life?). So I'll make this email much less tragic than those you may have received (or not, I don't know, I don't read your emails).
I am writing a blog for a creative nonfiction class. However, this blog is something that I want to keep developing beyond the seven week course, and so I am looking for things that really matter to me to write about. Allie, as though you don't get enough fan mail, I am going to tell you right now how much I love your blog. Are you ready? Okay.
THE FAN MAIL PORTION, OR, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR BLOG
Allie, how much do I love your blog? Soooooooooooooo much.
END OF FAN MAIL PORTION
Back to the point. I want to talk to you about your blog. So really, I want to talk to you about you. And I get that maybe now is not the ideal time for you. For some reason, you may not want to talk to a random stranger about youwith all of the stuff you're going through (because I know, I guess?).
But if you ever do, I sure would like to write that blog post.
And regardless, thanks for the inspiration (you are that inspiration...now this email got weird).
As you can see, a little weird, a little creepy, and really pathetic. These are the three requirements of a good email to a famous person.
Fellow adventurers, I'll let you know what shakes out. Until then, I leave with with this terrifying song. Just watch Paul Stanley at the chorus. I dare you.