Tuesday, January 22, 2013

The Most Inhumane Adventure: Raising Sea Monkeys (Part 2)

 What a waste of countless lives, fellow adventurer!

Now that your water is purified, it's time to pour in the instant live eggs. Keep in mind, you should still be working under the illusion that no eggs were in the water purifying packet and that the manufacturer would never lie to you. Your ignorance will improve the adventure!

Tear open packet number 2 and pour it into the pure, crystal-clear waters.

Sending millions to the slaughterhouse that is the aquarium

FUN FACT: The dye in the package is meant to instantly color the already hatched sea monkeys, making them visible and tricking you into thinking that water magically revives them. However, if you did it right, the dye will just settle at the bottom and do nothing, because all your sea monkeys are dead.

Now stand back and watch as your new pets do nothing but wait in their eggs, hoping to hatch, but knowing deep inside that death is an inevitability they soon must face. 

On the off-chance that they don't die immediately, they will probably awaken in 20 years or so, once man has been all but extinguished by the machines.

Look at how clear the water still is! That is not the goal!

If you decide to move to part 3, feeding and raising the sea monkeys, good for you, fellow adventurer! I'm not going to help you with that one!

Conclusion: Adventure Accomplished (because I say it is)! Also, do sea monkeys feel pain in their cryptobiotic state?

Until next crime, fellow adventurer! (Get it? I replaced time with crime. Very funny)

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